Hold on tight! Hold your breath, this is going to be a wild ride.... here we go!!!
Oh god, the dredge.
The swamp dredge.
When you go down to your murky depths and start swilling all the silt all over the place. The messy, painful swamp dredge.
Anyone who has faced their emotions head on. Chosen not to drink them away, not to run away 'traveling' to distant lands hoping to avoid the inevitable, chosen not to 'weekend warrior' them, chosen not to eat them and wash it all down with a $5 dollar shake. You know. You read this and you know.
You know because you've dredged that swamp. You've been down there. The depths where you can't see, you can't breathe, it's frightening, you're not sure who you are any more or if this shit will ever end. You feel like a child again, gasping for air and hoping that you'd feel anything, anything but this. Please let me escape myself, just for a minute. PLEASE!
So to you swamp dredgers, I salute you and to the ones, at the bottom, I say hold on. Hold on tight for the ride of a lifetime because when the silt begins to fall to the bottom, the waters begin to clear and you look up through the mud and see a glimmer of sunlight, it's truly beautiful.
When you see that glimmer when you see that tiny spot of sunlight reach your arms above your head and pull yourself up. Begin to pull until you float and when you eventually reach the top and burst out into the open air to an explosion of bubbles like an old ship which has been submerged at the bottom of the ocean that bobs out to the surface once more. For that time, that experience, that sweet, sweet inhalation of breath, oh the joy of clarity. For that my darling hold on.
For once you have been down there and seen the messy, dark, shadowy, horror parts of yourself, faced them head on and still love yourself no matter what. That my darlings is unconditional love and that is what we should all aim for.
The more we dredge, the lighter we become and in my experience, each dredge gets a little shorter as we learn about ourselves and learn our tools to cope. So, by all means, dredge that swamp, get deep down in there and clear out the weeds, but remember you'll drown if you stay there too long, so always keep an eye out for that little light, the glimmer of hope, the top of the water. For its always there, helping you, guiding you, showing you there can be joy, happiness, freedom, electric feelings of unabashed expansion, just hold on and look for the light.